Please Harder, Professor

Chapter 175

Bellamy’s POV

Adrian's name on my phone screen made my stomach drop. I considered letting it go to voicemail, had been considering that every time he called for the past week, but avoiding him indefinitely wasn't an option.

"Adrian," I answered, keeping my voice neutral.

"Bellamy, I need a favor. Sophie has to pick up the wedding invitations from the printer across town this afternoon, and I'm stuck in meetings until late. Can you drive her? She'll have Amelia with her."

Wedding invitations. Of course.

Because apparently my life had become an exercise in torture—not only did I have to guard Sophie while pretending that kiss never happened, now I had to escort her to pick up invitations for her wedding to my best friend.

"Sure," I heard myself say, because what else could I say? "What time?"

"Two o'clock. The printer's address is in the file I'll send you. Thanks, Bellamy. I owe you one."

‘You have no idea how much you owe me,’ I thought bitterly. Or maybe how much I owe you for betraying your trust.

After we hung up, I sat in my apartment staring at nothing, trying to figure out how I'd ended up here. Six months ago, my life was simple—just me and Noah, keeping our heads down, staying out of trouble.

Now I was trapped in this impossible situation, in love with a woman I had no right to want, helping plan a wedding that made my chest ache every time I thought about it.

I picked up Sophie and Amelia at exactly two o'clock. Sophie slid into the passenger seat without meeting my eyes, immediately busying herself with checking on Amelia in the back.

"The printer is about thirty minutes away," I said, pulling out into traffic. "Adrian sent me the address."

"Okay."

That was it. We drove in silence—painful, suffocating silence broken only by Amelia's happy babbling from her car seat. She at least was oblivious to the tension, playing with the toy rabbit I'd given her weeks ago.

I focused on the road, hands tight on the steering wheel. Sophie stared out the window like the passing buildings were the most fascinating things she'd ever seen. Every minute felt like an hour.

Finally, after fifteen minutes of this torture, Sophie spoke. "Are we just never going to talk about it?"

My hands tightened even more on the wheel. "What's there to talk about? I crossed a line. I apologized. It won't happen again."

"That's not what I asked." Her voice was quiet but firm. "I asked if we're going to talk about it. About what happened and why it happened."

I kept my eyes on the road. "What good would talking do? It was a mistake. We both know that. Let's just move past it."

"I can't move past it when you won't even look at me anymore," she said, frustration creeping into her tone. "When you act like I'm just another client instead of…"

"Instead of what?" I cut her off. "Instead of my best friend's fiancée? Instead of the woman carrying his ring? That's exactly what you are, Sophie."

Silence fell again, but this time it felt different. Heavier.

Then Sophie asked the question I'd been dreading: "Why did you kiss me?"

I could have deflected, could have given her some bullshit answer about temporary insanity or being caught up in the moment. But I was so goddamn tired of lying—to her, to Adrian, to myself.

"Because you remind me of her."

I said, the words coming out rougher than I intended.

"Of Olivia. The way you fight, the way you refuse to give up even when everything is falling apart around you. Being around you, watching you survive things that would have destroyed most people brought back everything I lost."

I heard her sharp intake of breath. "But I'm not her, Bellamy."

"I know." I merged onto the highway, needing somewhere to look besides her face. "That's what makes falling worse."

The confession hung in the air between us like smoke. I'd said it out loud now—the thing I'd been trying to deny for months. There was no taking it back.

Sophie didn't respond. I could feel her staring at me, could sense the wheels turning in her head, but she didn't say anything. What could she say?

When I pulled into a parking spot near the printer fifteen minutes later, I still couldn't bring myself to look at her. Instead, I sat there with the engine running, hands gripping the steering wheel like it was the only thing keeping me grounded.

Then I made a decision. If I was already confessing things I had no business saying, I might as well ask the question that had been eating at me since Adrian announced their engagement.

I turned to face her, shifting slightly toward her across the center console. "Are you sure you want this wedding?"

Sophie's eyes widened. "What?"

"It's a simple question." I held her gaze, not letting her look away. "Are you sure you want to marry Adrian? Or are you just going through with it because you think you should? Because of Amelia? Because you've already invested too much to walk away?"

"Of course I want to marry him," she said, but her voice had that defensive edge people get when they're trying to convince themselves as much as anyone else. "I love him."

"Do you?" I challenged. "Or do you love the idea of him? The potential of what he could be if he actually changed?"

"Don’t you dare…"

"You waited how long for him to propose? Went through how many circles of hell before he finally bothered?"

I leaned closer, and I saw her breath catch.

“And even then, he had to abandon you first, had to hit rock bottom before he could step up. The proposal wasn't about wanting to marry you, Sophie. It was about his guilt. His fear of losing you. His need to lock you down before you realized you could do better."

"You don't know what you're talking about." But her voice wavered.

"I was there, remember? I watched you survive without him, watched you discover you didn't actually need him at all. You were stronger, happier, more yourself when he was gone. And then he came back with a ring and suddenly all that strength just... disappeared."

"That's not true," she protested, but she wouldn't meet my eyes anymore.

"You deserve someone who wanted to marry you from the beginning," I said, my voice dropping lower. "Someone who didn't need to lose you to realize what he had. Someone who looks at you and sees a partner, not a possession. Someone who…"

"Someone like you?" Sophie interrupted, finally looking at me again. Her eyes were bright with unshed tears. "Is that what you're saying? That I should leave Adrian for you?"

The question hit like a punch to the gut. Because yes, part of me wanted to say exactly that. Part of me wanted to tell her to call off the wedding, to give me a chance, to see if what was building between us could be something real.

But I couldn't. Not while Adrian's trust still meant something to me. Not while I owed him my life from fifteen years ago. Not while Sophie wore his ring.

“Don’t be so naive, Sophie. You’ve known the answer yourself for a very long time.”